Star Trek 2 Throws Bait…..Film Bloggers Bite

Good morning. The fish certainly are biting today aren’t they.

Set photos. Catnip to the modern excitable film blogger. Why discuss film theory or the art of motion pictures, when you can salivate over photos that provoke of context ideas of what may or may not be happening in a movie? Our wise director J.J. Abrams has made sure that no one knows anything about the “Star Trek” sequel, regarding character specifics, down to the most minuscule plot details, and even the title. This has lead, as the studio intended, to a ton of conjecture about potential plot points and character details by film bloggers which, in the end, could turn out to be total bunk. In our frenzy to debunk these vague photos we are kept distracted from noticing a couple of alarming things. 1. The film is being directed by J.J. Abrams who was last seen bringing us the woeful “Goonies”/”ET” homage “Super 8”, not to mention his direction of “Alias the Movie” starring Tom Cruise (later re-titled Mission Impossible 3). Of course he did direct the first “Star Trek” reboot in 2009. You guys remember the marketing ploy that accompanied the film; “Not your daddy’s “Star Trek”. Yeah, you know, it wasn’t because my daddy’s Star Trek wasn’t a flashy but hollow rip-off of the original Star Wars plot (, that had poorly written dialogue and convoluted plotting (what was Eric Bana doing all those years anyway). This brings us to our second alarming thing; the writers. If you count their credits collectively, from the mass world-wide joke that was the television series “Lost”, to the cinematic classics that are “Cowboys and Aliens”, “Eagle Eye”, “Legend  of Zorro”, the first two “Transformers” films, “Alias the Movie”, and the original Trek reboot, then these set photos should put your mind totally at ease about the new film. Shouldn’t they?

Well no, they don’t. In fact creating ease is the last thing the (the studio) were trying to do. These pictures were meant to redirect your thoughts away from things that really matter, like the craft of the film, towards more important things like; “how in the world can anyone overcome the Vulcan nerve pinch”. As more vague details are released by the mastermind J.J., they will lead to more and more convoluted conjecture, until the internet film nerds are whipped into a near frenzy. At this point hey don’t want to see merely a good film. They have to go see Star Trek 2. How else will they know if the neck pinch can be overcome, and if that guy is a villain then why is he wearing a a Starfleet shirt. It wont matter if the movie is good, because as long as they know these things, then everything will be okay. As long as they know these things, then they’ll excuse poor writing. As long as they know these things, they’ll put their trust a director and writers who haven’t earned it.

There is nothing wrong with being excited for an upcoming film. Excitement is fine, when it is healthy. This set photo frenzy however, is in any way healthy. All it inspires is distracting and ridiculous conjecture. You have to understand that in most instances the health of a person is dependent upon what they eat. How, I ask, then do the people behind Trek 2 expect their fans to be healthy if all we are given to feed on is vague garbage. I feel the whole film blog-o-sphere needs to do a collective bend and purge, and start to feed on the good fruits of film-making rather than the junk food provided by rabid nerd fan-dom.


About celluloidhumanoid

Celluloid Prophet

Posted on February 25, 2012, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 6 Comments.

  1. Orci and Kurtzman were also the chief writers of Raimi’s produced Hercules/Xena tvseries.

  2. I wasn’t privy to that one beloq. Do you see a connection between the writing they did then and the writing they do now?

  3. “I feel the whole film blog-o-sphere needs to do a collective bend and purge, and start to feed on the good fruits of film-making rather than the junk food provided by rabid nerd fan-dom.” what a bunch of hate! you obviouusly hate the new version of star trek, and that certainly is your right, but for gods-sake, get your metaphors straight…it’s “binge and purge”

  4. Well, I’m never to old to learn. I apologize for the bad grammar. In my defense though I did mean that I wanted the people to physically bend over and blow chunks. Also I never once said I hated Star Trek. Given the right script, and some slight improvements, J.J. Abrams could catch fire in the directors chair. Hopefully time will tell.

  5. Good points all. I should add that while I liked NuTrek, it was a continuity and writing disaster, as some talkbackers on AICN have asserted relentlessly.

    More to the point of the planted photographs, Zoe Saldana, who plays Uhura in the sequel, says that JJ is mighty upset that the photos have leaked.

    Of course he is.

  6. Thanks section9. I’m pretty sure he is mighty upset, if by mighty upset he means really happy. The fanboys are kept busy deciphering photo while J.J. adds his lens flares and Damon Lindelof makes the plot a convoluted mess. Not to be negative about the films prospects, but at this stage in the game, keeping in mind who is behind the camera, there are probably more pertinent things to be wondering about other than if Spock’s Vulcan neck pinch can be resisted.

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