Oscar Hangover in the Film Blog-o-Sphere

Happy Oscar boxing day. I hope you enjoyed last nights festivities………….anyway here is what has been passing for film journalism lately.

Of course, to be expected is the obligatory post Oscar coverage, and the film bloggers don’t disappoint.

http://www.slashfilm.com/84th-annual-academy-award-winners/

http://www.cinemablend.com/new/Oscar-Winners-2012-Full-List-Academy-Award-Results-29653.html

http://collider.com/oscar-winners-2012/148136/

http://www.firstshowing.net/2012/watch-highlights-from-the-84th-annual-academy-awards-last-night/

The Oscars have long since stopped being about celebrating the art of motion pictures, so I find the new list of winners and losers already irrelevant. In a few months when the artist has been long forgotten and Midnight in Paris has blended into a non-nondescript piece of material in Woody Allen’s large patchwork quilt film library, the only thing left worth remembering from this evening will be the moments. Now, I don’t mean to be cynical, but I’ve come to the point where I watch the Oscars for spectacle and spectacle alone, because lets face it, when the name of the designer holds more weight than the nuance of your craft, you have to admit we’ve gone very far away from the roots of general artistic appreciation.

The sad thing is. Even as a spectacle the Oscar’s were extremely disappointing. Billy, whom I adore because he is a talented comedienne, was………..all wrong for the Oscars this year. His jokes fell flat, his comedic bits were stale, and his song (which he usually puts the most work into) was uninspired and campy in worst way possible. Even a cameo from almost the entire Christopher Guest school of comedy (no Parker Posey? couldn’t revive the spirits of the evening. The worst thing however, wasn’t just billy’s performance, but every one who came to the podium became a dead shark right before our eyes (Robert Downey Jr. and Gwyneth Paltrow were particularly hard to watch). I’ve never seen joke writers so out of touch with the comedic sensibilities of the common man, and the current times, seeming, at their worst to posses no relative idea of what was and is an any way funny to any person who has ever lived and breathed air on this earth (relativity not withstanding).

What did you say? Its just all my opinion. Lets say it with clips. Why don’t you compare this;

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d5qpqBli880

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dTYZhGtzVyQ (this one contains some footage of the awful song)

With what could have been;

http://a.oscar.go.com/video/PL55173797/_m_VD55175497

In about one minute and thrity seconds, Chris Rock all but saved a sinking ship. He was all at once scathing, warm, critical, celebratory, honest, and most importantly funny. There were no smarmy crystal-esque insider Hollywood jokes about Bragelina’s adopted kids, or awful and overdone Sammy Davis Jr. impressions: (coincidentally to see a white guy do Sammy right look at this; http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3GIQPWrKits&feature=related, if you want to see a black guy do it well, watch Tim Meadows in “Wayne’s World 2”, and if you want to see a master at work watch this; http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PFYiRTPsrqg). It was his balance that made Chris Rock so funny. He gave the audience the perfect about of sweet and sour in his routine. On the other hand, I sometimes found it hard to understand anything that was coming out of Billy Crystal’s mouth, because he had his lips so puckered up so to the backside of the “Glamorous” Hollywood Establishment. Its alright to celebrate our actors but not to the point of strained awkward and unfunny genuflection

Oh and besides Chris, check out what else we missed out on.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bojnqBFadz4&feature=related (I apologize for the foul language, of course its not safe for work, but I know that cussing isn’t always appreciated outside of work as well)

So that is all for now, i’ll be back this evening with more fun stuff to enjoy. Before I go, regardless of what transpired last night, I think its best to leave thinking about what we have received, not matter how minuscule, rather than what could have been. So lets list some memorable Oscar moments.

1. Octavia Spenser winning for “The Help”;http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8g8YZA2FioQ

2. Jennifer Lopez’s Nipples. (search for clips yourself you pervs)

3. Viola Davis’s Buzz Cut.

4. Justin Bieber getting good mileage out of his deal with the devil.

5. Esperanza Spalding squandering her talent.

6. Seth Rogen, and Gabourey Sidibe  attempting to define what a good movie is.

7. Cirque Du Soleil trying to upstage  the interpretive dance inspired by Saving Private Ryan seen at the 71st academy awards. (not kidding)

8. The brand new marketing campaign J.C. Penny has to lure people to their stores with awful comedy.

9. George Clooney willing to get his gay on again with Billy Crystal after doing so with John Stewart when he hosted the Oscars. Anyone else sensing a trend here.

10. Sasha Baron Cohen putting ashes on Ryan Seacrest, which was the best moment of the night. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mhAg0COnqds

Honorable mention goes to Angelina Jolie and her Thigh.

 

 

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About celluloidhumanoid

Celluloid Prophet

Posted on February 27, 2012, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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