Extra, Extra: Chris Pine Rides Motorcycle, Film Bloggers Have Alot of Time On Their Hands

Breaking news!!!!!!

You guys better brace yourselves. Find something solid to hold onto because this is gonna rock your world. Be sure to tell your family how much you love them cause once you hear this there aint no coming back. Make your piece with Jesus as soon as you can because your head might explode into confetti when you hear this news. All ready? Are you sure? Alright, you asked for it.

A new set photo from the Jack Ryan reboot was released and it shows………. (pauses to catch breath and wipe brow) it shows Chris Pine riding a motorcycle.

Have the final trumpets sounded? Have the seven horses of the Apocalypse been spotted? Has Atlantis reemerged from the sea?

Wait, how are we still here? I can’t believe it. I thought that information would have been a lot more earth shattering than that. At least it was to cinemablend, collider, comingsoon, indiewire, firstshowing, and heyuguys.co.uk. Well I guess information like that is earth shattering when you live on a hollow excuse for a planet that delights itself in substandard sensationalist cultural commentary.

Perhaps the more cinematically astute find themselves on firmer ground because they see news like this as completely insignificant. They tend to view film more as an art-form than a trade show (i.e., oh, oh, look at my shiny new set photo!). So what if Chris Pine rides a motorcycle in character as Jack Ryan? Why should we care about a character in a reboot of a franchise that was at best a series of substandard action b-movies, now helmed by a guy whose last couple of films show an almost shocking decline in directorial ability and artistic judgement?

This paltry bit of film news is noteworthy only because of the obscene amount of press its getting by the typically clueless film blog-o-sphere. Its sad how unambitious and artistically bankrupt film bloggers have become; content to sit back and offer lazy witticisms and vapid conjecture at the sight of single meaningless set photo.

Bloggers please grow up and start trying to write more seriously and deeply about film. Until then, i’m sure the world can get by not knowing how Chris Pine looks riding a motorcycle.


About celluloidhumanoid

Celluloid Prophet

Posted on August 31, 2012, in Film and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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